My younger brother died on the 18th of September.
The pain in my heart is excruciating. My therapist... my confidant... my debating buddy... is gone.
There's nothing worse than being an older sister and losing a sibling younger than you. You feel like you've failed. You feel like you didn't protect him like you should have. You feel like you weren't as attentive as you should have been.
It hasn't sunk in properly. There are moments when this is a shock and everything feels like a dream... then there are moments when it feels all too real.
I miss him.
He won't have his drivers license, his first car, his first job... he won't have all those things that young men his age have or would have enjoyed.
I will fondly remember him and his good heart. I will remember how he supported and encouraged me. I will remember how he annoyed and teased me at times.
I just wish he was here to annoy me. I wish he would annoy me.