My aunt came from abroad. She wasn't here during the time my brother died, so this was her first time coming here since the news.
As expected, she was devastated and inconsolable.
I remember getting from work last Friday and I was attempting to console her.
She was very sympathetic towards me and my siblings. She was very hurt for us all.
I had to control my flood of tears because I really didn't want to relive all the emotions again. I relive those emotions almost daily. That Friday, was a good day for me and I didn't want that to be taken away from me. It sounds selfish to want to sometimes forget everything that has happened. You want it to be pushed into the back of your mind so that you can smile, do something awesome and just carry on living.
It's selfish, but that's what I wanted... that is what I needed; a break from all the thinking about my brother and most importantly, about the fact that he's no longer here.
How are we doing?
We are doing well considering (that is always my response to anyone who asks).
It's nice for people to care enough to know how you're doing, but it's really awkward answering. Some days I just want to say that I want to crawl under a rock and stay there until I have no more memories of my brother... it's just that painful.
Now and then me and my sister discuss the funny things my brother would do or say...
Every time something happens I know exactly what his reaction would be... if it was funny, he'd laugh. If anyone in the family did good in something, he'd praise us.
This is tough.
Wow. This post really hit me, I can only imagine what it's like to lose a sibling and I'm sure that that's only a fraction of what it's actually like. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. As a complete stranger, I hope this is of some consolation! I have to say that I just randomly stumbled on to your blog this evening and I have spent the past hour or so on it! I really value and appreciate your honesty especially when it comes to what you're going through at the moment and also you've clearly got a great sense of humour - some of those memes/gifs cracked me up (i.e. best cry ever. Anyway, just wanted to show you some love and support from a new follower...I also noticed Pecorino somewhere, ohhh the joys of cell biology. I'm a science graduate doing Medicine now so I can relate to you in that regard! Anyway - keep up the great work and stay strong in this trying time. If you need anything please let me know, would be happy to talk or anything! Love from one natural sister to another (<-gosh that sounds a bit cheesy!),Sarah xx
ReplyDeleteHi Sair,
DeleteYour comment literally brought tears to my eyes.
At times it can feel like I'm the only one reading my blog when I am writing it and double checking it. Don't ever become a stranger =)
I really thank you and appreciate your encouragement. I am also very proud of the fact that you are studying medicine because science and medicine are not a joke! Keep on going, make us all proud, thank you for your love Sarah <3